• by Robert
• 0
• Posted on September 11, 2025September 11, 2025

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION
PHILLY BOB’S STEAKS VEHEMENTLY DENIES ANY AFFILIATION WITH “PHILLIES KAREN” — ANNOUNCES NEW SWAG LINE TO PROVE IT

Philadelphia, PA — Let the record show, stamped by pigeons in triplicate and notarized in cheesesteak grease: Philly Bob’s Steaks has never, does not currently, and will never employ, endorse, collaborate with, or even acknowledge Karen of Phillies infamy.

We categorically deny:

• Past connections with Karen.
• Present connections with Karen.
• Future connections with Karen, including but not limited to time travel scenarios, parallel universes, or zoning hearings conducted by pigeons.

And yet, in true Philly Bob’s fashion, we will channel this moment of civic outrage into what we do best: sandwiches, surrealism, and merch.

Introducing: “Karen Never Worked Here”

A bold new swag category designed to make sure everyone knows exactly where we stand. This collection includes:

• Sweatshirts & hoodies — sturdy, warm, and explicitly Karen-free.
• Racerback tanks — cut sharper than Karen’s sense of entitlement.
• Mesh jerseys — breathable, loose, and built for ballparks where Karen doesn’t belong.
• Crop sweatshirts — fashion-forward proof that Karen’s not on the roster.

Each piece is printed loud and proud with vintage-style designs that declare the truth: Karen never worked here.

About Philly Bob’s Steaks

Philly Bob’s is Philadelphia’s premier provider of imaginary cheesesteaks, surreal advertising, and pigeon-endorsed swag. Known for categories like “Steaks So Good, Even the Pigeons File Paperwork First” and “Santa Defies Gravity. Our Steaks Defy Reason,” the brand remains committed to quality, absurdity, and total freedom from Karens.

Explore the collection now here.
Stamp it in triplicate. Wear it with pride. Tell your neighbors.

Contact:
Philly Bob’s Steaks
Department of Pigeon Affairs
press@philly-bobs.com