(Join us in shaping the future of cheesesteak destiny.)
Why Work With Us?
At Philly Bob’s, we don’t just make cheesesteaks. We create moments of destiny, confuse tourists, and negotiate daily with pigeons. Working here means becoming part of a tradition endorsed by 3 out of 4 imaginary mayors and occasionally interrupted by Gritty.
Current Openings
Onion Prophet Apprentice
Part-time | $12/hour + visions
Responsibilities: Slice onions until they whisper the future. Deliver prophecies to customers in grease-stained envelopes. Must be comfortable with tears (yours and theirs).
Pigeon Paperwork Clerk
Full-time | Paid in crumbs
Responsibilities: Manage all avian filing systems. Must know shorthand in coo-language. Occasional rooftop travel required.
Destiny’s Wallet Intern
Unpaid | Eternal credit
Responsibilities: Locate destiny’s wallet. Report findings weekly. Strong background in regret management preferred.
Rowhouse Ghost Liaison
Remote-friendly | Salary negotiable (ectoplasm accepted)
Responsibilities: Translate ghostly moans into customer feedback. Handle hauntings diplomatically. Must not fear sudden cold spots.
Soft Pretzel Structural Engineer
Contract | $25/hour
Responsibilities: Design impossible pretzel geometries for our catering menu. Background in architecture or snack foods required.
Imaginary Mayor’s Speechwriter
Per diem | Paid in applause
Responsibilities: Draft inspiring endorsements for our phantom political supporters. Must handle dissent from the 4th mayor.
Perks & Benefits
- Complimentary imaginary cheesesteaks during shifts.
- Unlimited SEPTA tokens (may not work in this reality).
- Employee discount on Tastykakes consumed in prophetic silence.
- Annual “Haunted Rowhouse Retreat.”
- Health insurance coverage for existential dread.
How to Apply
Please submit:
- Your résumé (handwritten on a hoagie roll, lightly toasted).
- A cover letter addressed to Destiny.
- Three references (at least one must be a pigeon).
Applications can be dropped off in person at our Broad Street fog portal or emailed to careers@philly-bobs.com.