(What our totally real customers are saying about Philly Bob’s Steaks)
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“The best cheesesteak I never ate. The onions predicted my divorce, and they were absolutely correct. Would recommend to friends, family, and future selves.”
— Janet R., South Philly
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“Three of the four imaginary mayors gave me a standing ovation while I finished my steak. The fourth just scowled, but that’s politics for you.”
— Councilman X (retired, possibly fictional)
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“I came here for lunch and woke up in 1978 at a Mummers Parade. The sandwich was cold by then, but still delicious.”
— DeShawn T., Kensington
⭐⭐⭐☆☆
“Cheesesteak was good, but the pigeon waiter stole my wallet. Destiny still hasn’t given it back.”
— Mark B., Fishtown
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“Philly Bob’s catered my wedding. The Rowhouse Ghost’s appearance was the highlight. Grandma hasn’t stopped shivering, but everyone agreed the provolone was divine.”
— Lisa & Pat, Old City
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“Ordered delivery. Instead of a cheesesteak, I got a SEPTA token and a prophecy about onions. Still ate the paper.”
— Anonymous, University City
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“Best fake steak I’ve ever had. 100% recommend pressing three on their phone line to speak with a ghost before ordering. Really sets the mood.”
— Hector M., West Philly
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“When I finished my sandwich, the door locked behind me. That was 3 years ago. Honestly? No regrets.”
— Mysterious Reviewer, writing from inside Philly Bob’s